Home > Editorials > I am still alive

I am still alive

[Originally posted to my first blog at Xanga]

I am still alive.

Without a job, and still frantically searching, but still alive.

How come that doesn’t make me feel so great today?

I feel trapped, chained down to a ship that is slowly sinking. I am incredibly scared. I am graduating in 5 weeks; if I am having so much trouble finding work now, how will it be when I won’t even have school to show that I actually do something? Oh yeah, I’m a writer, but no one sees that but me. People look at you funny when you put that on a resume or application, did you know. They think you’re joking or that is a creative way of saying “I’ve been doing shit.”

Which may be true. Who knows.

And now my car is leaking something. Oil most probably. And I feel like shit today.

I’m gonna go crawl back into bed, cover myself up and pretend there’s a big rock over me.


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